Living in San Diego; Singing, Teaching, and always seeking new adventures!

Acclaim has been handed out, and your reputation is now shining more brightly than ever -- and justly so. Other people in your work or school life are going to start looking to you for answers, so be prepared for your presence to be in demand! But instead of handing out answers left and right, empower the people who come to you to find their own answers. Your encouragement will help them follow in your footsteps and become a more successful person.

Its amazing how stressed and worried I was about everything during the past few months.  It wasn't until Wednesday that I found the recital dress at Macy's. I also couldn't think of anything else but the songs and hoping that they would finally settle in my brain and just spew forth from the inner crevices.

 Last week at this time, I was at First Pres. downtown running through the entire program with Suzy.  At that point, the memorization of the words to the French set was at 90%. I was exhausted and stressed because of  all the drama with the program notes and then trying to finish other assignments that had their due dates last week as well.  After we finished rehearsing, it finally hit me that everything was not as awful as it seemed. The possibility of actually learning those texts 100% could happen if only I could spend a block of time doing nothing else. That's exactly what Thursday was for me. I attended Diction class and  immediately after that, I headed over to College Ave. and set up shop in the lobby. I had my typed up words, my music, my coffee, and I was determined to stay as long as necessary to have everything100%memorized. From 2:30 until 9:30 p.m. I read over each song, memorized, and gave great thought to the meaning behind each song. It was exhausting work, but after the last song was solid, I packed up my belongings and headed home.

I went to sleep hearing all of those songs and I woke up the next day with the same songs going through my mind continuously. Fortunately, I had nothing scheduled other than 1 lesson at the Children's Academy and that was easy since Rachel is a sweetheart and only seeks to do her best everytime we meet.  I decided to go and do my laundry early that morning and then afterwards go for a walk near Mission Bay. As my clothes were in the washing machines, I walked down O.B. Blvd. to obtain some breakfast and coffee. Its such an eclectic community and it always surprises me how many people just wander around without a care in the world.  When the laundry was folded and placed in the bags, I drove over to the isolated part of the Bay and set out for a long walk. I was happily reciting the song texts, when I came upon a very rude man. He was throwing a football to his friend and then remarked, " I was just singing today about the San Diego/Mexican way of life....oh I'll tell you more about it after she walks by."  I was so hurt, what in the world? I didn't even look at that man, I was walking and then to have a stupid remark thrown at me. Ugh, and of course I wasn't strong enough to just let it go. I let it sink in and drive its claws deep within the vulnerable flesh that surrounds my tender heart. I walked for 2 hours and kept saying the words over and over again. After I felt like I had everything up to par, I headed back to my car.  I drove home, had lunch, and set to work on typing up my list of acknowledgments to be inserted into the program notes. As I was typing up the names of people who have worked with me for this recital and thanked people for contributing to my life, I started crying uncontrollably. I couldn't stop and the more I tried, the worse it became.  I needed to talk to someone and the only person that I thought might be available to talk with me during the middle of the day, was my former piano teacher at PLNU.  I should have realized that the cell phone reception at Point Loma is non-existent and you can never get ahold of anyone by cell phone up there. I eventually stopped crying, finished my insert, packed up the car, and headed to the church to print out the inserts.
The Dress Rehearsal was later that evening, and I spent 2 hours just making sure that I had everything ready to go. The shoes, trying on the dress and walking the stage, the binder with the oboe pieces, the pedestal for the flowers. So many little details, but I wanted to be sure that it would all come together and work well for me.

The Dress Rehearsal started a bit shakily due to the fact that my teacher and the oboe player still hadn't arrived by 5:45 p.m. So, I told my accompanist that we should just start at the top of the program and hope that both parties would arrive shortly. I had 2 of my friends in the audience since they weren't able to make the actual performance, and it was really nice to perform for a few people instead of just the empty seats. At 6:00 p.m. the oboe player showed up, but my teacher still hadn't arrived. I was becoming concerned about her and by the time I was at the end of my second set, she walked in the door. We ran through the rest of the recital and it went better than I could have imagined. The voice was in good shape, the diction was clear, and I actually became excited after each song was completed.  My old feisty self was back! Oh my, the dreariness, the headaches, and the weight finally lifted and I could clearly see the light.

I ended up staying to hear Emily and Monet's Junior Recital and was glad that I did. They did some funny pieces that made me laugh at the end and I was glad to be surrounded by fellow classmates who talked up a storm to me during intermission.

Saturday....I went and walked around Lake Murray in La Mesa and took my recorder with me to listen to the previous night's dress rehearsal. As I walked, I analyzed everything from my tone, to the clarity of my words. It was amazing how engrossed I was with the listening that I completely blocked all the people walking by me. I could feel that I was in the "zone" and that everything was in order for me to do the music its justice.  I also stopped by the "So Relax" store in Mission Valley and treated myself to a massage. It felt good for the first 20 minutes and then when I got home, I was worse than before I went there. My shoulders ached, and I was having a hard time relaxing. It soon became clear to me that perhaps having a massage wasn't the wisest thing to do before the next day's performance. I took a bath, then went to bed.

Sunday morning, I had scheduled with Lynzy to get my hair and makeup done at 9:30 a.m. I had forgotten to set the alarm and when I woke up, the clock said 9:50 a.m. Oh my gosh, and then when I tried to get out of bed my entire back was filled with knots. I called Lynzy and told her what had happened and she was obviously miffed because she needed to leave by 11:00 a.m. to make the tailgate party at the Chargers game.  I was hurting and barely awake just trying to get in the car and drive to the salon as fast as possible. In 45 minutes, she able to curl my hair, put half of it up, and then do my makeup. I could tell that for that day, all she cared about was making 75.00.  All I cared about, was looking presentable by 5:00 p.m. and hoping that the makeup wouldn't wash away in the next 8 hours. Hmm...I seem to recall that I had set an appointment with her 2 months ago for 2:00 p.m. and instead of calling me and telling me her plans changed, she told me it was 9:30 and nothing else...Ugh...I'll deal with that at another time.

With my hair and makeup done, I headed over to Sam's Club to obtain flowers for the stage.  The red and white roses were non-existent and I ended up purchasing the dark red roses. They were beautiful and would go well with my red dress. Since it was raining and windy, I thought it might be nice to drive up to Point Loma and watch the ocean from atop the school's property. I wanted to walk around so badly, but for fear of ruining my hair, I stayed in my car and just watched the ebb and flow of the tide. With just 3 hours before showtime, I headed home to pick up the things I needed for the night, and headed over to the school.  I had to wait around for about half an hour before I could set up my things in the green room since there was another graduate recital for a jazz student going on.  As I waited, I thought of all the little details that needed to take place before 5:00 p.m. when I would begin singing. Everything was ready to go and I just needed to walk the stage, sing a song for the sound check, and then put the dress on.

Mary had been so sweet to allow me to keep my dress up in her studio on Friday, that I hadn't a worry about it getting rained on from the dismal weather. She greeted me and took me upstairs and told me how proud she was of all the work that I had done and wished me a happy and fun performance. I tried to savor those last moments with her, because I knew that I wasn't going to experience this again under the same circumstances. All of her care, and attention to every little detail, was washing over me as I stood there before her and took in the last final instructions before finally going downstairs to prepare.   I was amazed how fast the time went and with only 10 minutes left, I needed to calm my mind down, drink some tea, eat my apple and just go.
This night was about me singing from my soul, giving the music its well deserved platform to communicate to whomever might be in the audience. This wasn't a show, or a display of how loud, low, or soft I could go. It was about the culmination of 2 years of intensive study and one of the final requirements necessary in order to obtain a higher rank in the world of musical expertise.  As soon as I hit the stage, there was no stopping me. The words came effortlessly, the music soared, and the applause of the audience rang through the hall. It was an unforgettable evening and the joy of greeting the people who attended was the best part of the evening.  Hugs, flowers, laughs, and pictures were exchanged and I only wish that I would have had more time with each person to truly express to them my gratitude for the support they gave me that evening.